Oh, MMA again

Oh, again those of the MMA

As you know, I practice Judo. I started at 6, I stopped for a few years when I practiced Muay Thai, but then I returned home and today I continue undaunted. At the limit in the gym "game" with those of the Greco-Roman wrestling or with those of Ju Jitsu's lesson. Instead, I abandoned Muay Thai for several reasons. When I say this, a new kind of fanatic arrives, those who love MMA, telling me that Judo "is not practical" and therefore not effective in "real situations", while MMA would make anyone unbeatable.

I don't usually have time to argue with these idiots, and I consider MMA as a new commercial trend made to pretend that even the US has "traditional" techniques like Judo, or Ju Jitsu, or the Greco-Roman wrestling. I consider it martial arts wrestling.

But a discussion on this topic is useless, so in general those who say that MMA is "practical", I propose several tests. So that THEY can do these tests and realize by themselves how much MMA is exactly the opposite of "practical".

Here are the tests I ask those who practice MMA to do (or say they do).

Test number one:

"Dependence on combat behavior and warming".

The test consists in choosing a beautiful winter day, when you're fully dressed, let's say you leave the office. Shirt, jacket, coat, scarf. Arrive in your gym, take off NOTHING other than your shoes, and WITHOUT heating, enter the ring and have a match with a heated, ironed and dressed sparring partner.

If by chance you lose more than 50% of the techniques, we say that kicks return impossible and some punches become very slow (and the guard turns out to be difficult) then your martial art is "impractical". Unless you want to ask some thug time to strip, warm up, stretch. Spoiler: those who make Judo, Ju Jitsu or Greco-Roman wrestling change very little, and almost all techniques remain feasible. In the end you risk breaking civilian clothes, which is why we use very robust ones.

"Let's go to the second test: equipment dependency".

You are used to fighting in the ring. Indeed, to make sure you DO NOT even learn to get out of the corner (like boxers) use a round cage as a ring. Good. Very impressive.

Now give it a try: get a dozen people into your ring, asking them to move around randomly while you and your partner match you. The implicit rule is that if you accidentally hit one of them, you have the right to react against you. You can call this situation, I know, "underground", "disco", "narrow and crowded place". If you can fight well while there are 12-13 people in the ring with you, your technique is "practical". If you fail, well, then ask the delinquent who assists you to go elsewhere. Spoilers: those who make judo, Greek Roman wrestling or Ju Jitzu change very little. Others need a free circle of two and a half meters around the body and move a lot. I don't tell you who. But if you need to be in a ring by yourself, I wouldn't call this technique "practical".

How much do you need it? You decide.

"Let's go to the third test: still dependence on the ring".

Go to your gym and ask to bring some tables and a dozen chairs into the ring. I would call this a "bar" or "restaurant". Leave between a table and another about 60 / 80cm, as in bars and restaurants. Then call your sparring partner and get yourself a nice match. If your operations decrease a lot because you are afraid to kick on the tables, you can't move as you would like and dodge, well, I'm sorry, but "I'll wait for you outside" is not a good answer in case of a fight. Spoiler: those who do Judo, Ju Jitsu or Greco-Roman wrestling don't lose much in this situation. You can always go to the ground. Some who need to dance in the ring will find themselves in difficulty and will lose a lot of capacity. But I'm not telling you who. Try.

"Fourth test: but do you see where you put your fucking feet, asshole?"

Enter your gym and start a fight with your partner. But first take a few medicine balls (heavy leather ones) about five or six, and maybe a few bars from the gym. (those settle them farther away, because you are too practical, so objects on the ground annoy you). Then start fighting. If you risk really hurting yourself, let's say because you have no idea where the floor is and you don't feel it, well, you'll always have to hope for a clear floor.

If you don't like taking risks because in the end you know how "practical" your martial art is, you can do a softer test: take matresses from the gym, or a layer of tatami, and cut your ring in two by making a step as high as the curb of a sidewalk. Then start the match. If by chance that simple curb of the pavement keeps you occupied, distracts you, or becomes a danger because it makes you fall while stepping back, then your technique is not "practical".

Spoiler: some don't care, others don't. And being able to back away by keeping the contact with the ground is not bad, eh. Take the test, and see if it's your case.

Last test: but here it slips.

Before going to the ring, take half a dozen towels and spread them around the ring. It's usually enough. If you really are a real male you can fetch water and wet the ring, which will REALLY become slippery. At that point, have a nice meeting. If you do not know how to deal with the situation, for example you do not know that at that point it is better to fight on the ground, and how to get there, I fear that your technique will only work in good weather. Otherwise, women with heels and men with leather soles, have to look for good, adequate ground.

Spoiler: some know how to bring the opponent to the ground, and know what to do next. Others believe they can do it, but only if they are in the ring. (see under "clothes").


In short: it does not impress a martial art, however spectacular, which can ONLY be practiced in the ring. Of course, you are the gods of the ring, and therefore invited in the ring masters of other techniques to show that ON THE RING are unbeatable. MMA vs X.

But being the God of the Ring is not "practical", if for example you have to be a bouncer in a room: in a real situation, your MMA trains you less than Boxing. At that point you do boxing: you have the same techniques as an MMA expert (outside the ring), but at least someone has trained you on a fucking square ring, where you can end up on the corner, and you KNOW what to do when it happens. What you have avoided by fighting in a cage for chickens without corners, never having learned something "practical", that is, that there are walls, tables, sofas and stairs in the world.

I hope I have responded to that rage of shoddy boxers who are infecting the web (and myself) with their videos "MMA against X". If you do it in the ring, it's obvious that you win. Practice a form of show made to put on a show in the ring. Of course it works.

Even if you do it on an empty tatami, of course you win.

But I wish you, for your own good, never to meet a Greco-Roman wrestling expert in a normal bus. Meet a physically very strong, tenacious opponent and HIM has enough space to do EVERYTHING he can do. You can barely pull a few punches if your clothing allows it. And if you come against a judoka on a bus, I suggest you remove the scarf. It's a "practical" bag. Ah, yes, but then you will hit me.

Moreover, I invite you to make one last test: if in your gym there is a machine that measures the strength / speed of the fists, try to punch when you enter, you are still dressed normally, and not heated. Also keep your shoulder bag. Keep the rings on your hands as well. You will find that you are two and a half times slower, and your fists are weak. I advise you to do this test, also to avoid unpleasant "practical" surprises, when you think you can throw down an adult male (especially if criminal) with a single punch given slowly and cold. (If all goes well, forgive yourself after the second blowjob you give him).

If after this test you still believe you are shooting large waves, I suggest you check it:

Last test: the pressure cooker.

Go to the gym bringing a normal pressure cooker from home, better with a thick bottom. Your sparring partner must hold it up, as a spacer, at face level (approximately), keeping your arms tight, taking care to hold it between you and you. Obviously he can't use his hands, but there is a hard and tough object between you.

If by chance you are afraid of hurting your hands, or breaking a malleolus, and you are not sure how to attack your friend without risking it, then your art is not very practical: a hard object, be it a bottle, a chair , a beer mug, a vase is easily found. You can't risk losing your hands because you've thrown a strong punch at a pressure cooker, can't you find? It is not very practical.

End of tests you can (and should) do yourself.

But, I repeat, I don't want to debate: I told you what tests to do, all you have to do is go to your gym, do what I wrote, and realize YOURSELF of what you are doing. Of how "practical" it is.

Then surely the physical preparation and knowing how to use fists (even less than a boxer, like you) will benefit you on a criminal, but this is also true for the ten thousand meters and the throwing of the weight. Physical preparation is ALWAYS an advantage.

The problem is different: to believe that you are the gods of war only because you practice a sport that allows you to be the gods of the Ring, or an open space, clear, dry and in a suitable estate, after stretching and heating. It's called a "false sense of security".

So I repeat: try it yourself . Go to your gym, do the tests I proposed above, and check for yourself how practical your technique is. It applies to everyone, not just MMA.

You can check it yourself, just do the above tests.

That's why I quit Muay Thai. He did not pass the tests. In the situations described, you lose more than 50% of what you have trained to do. And the "pot" situation, that is a guy who just keeps an object as a spacer, go home with smashed hands, aching malleolus, and even elbows and knees work.

I prefer something that can be done immediately, without heating, with any outfit, and in "practical" situations, that is little free space. And if the guy has an object in his hand as a spacer, well … uchi komi is your friend.

I repeat: if your problem is "practical" and not sport itself, then you can be "practical" and try to fight in the situations I have described. If you don't want to be practical and you like sports, don't object. Everyone does the sport they prefer.

You don't have to discuss: you just need to do the tests I described and judge for yourself. The tests are completely "practical", aren't they?

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