The 11 bullshit that I would not like to read (but light them)

After the German elections, Italian newspapers start writing the kind of bullshit you can hear in bars, but only from those guys who want to sound smart by saying bar stuff. Well, could the newspapers spare them this time?

I make a list here.

• There is a leadership vacuum in the EU.

Now, the leadership in the EU is located, approximately, in Brussels. And mind you, I'm not pointing out that most of the seats that matter are occupied by Germans. I am pointing out that Berlin, like the German government, of the EU have given a lot of fuss so far. If there is one thing that Germany has been accused of suffering it is the "reluctance" to take the lead. And now the same commentators complain that there is a vacuum of a leadership that (their own words) never existed?

• The CDU loses a lot, for very refined reasons that our newspaper now explains to you.

The CDU has just lost the most acclaimed leader in history, urbi et orbi. If private companies spend a lot of money on giant cartels in order to say hello to Merkel, it is no coincidence. And no matter how hard you try, finding a leader worthy of the competition without having ruled is impossible. Unless we resurrect Charlemagne. Who is buried in Aachen, city of Laschet, but they are not the same person. So there is probably no inscrutable reason for this decline: they have lost a leader of world stature, that's all.

• The socialists have swept away.

No. They stopped losing. It was before they lost Abbestia, but this is NOT the best election result in their history. Decidedly. Furthermore, much of this victory is due to the fact that Scholz is the finance minister of Groko, of the Merkel government. And here we go to the next:

• The Germans want discontinuity.

Clearly not, otherwise they would not have voted for the finance minister of the current government Merkel. And they would also have given more votes to the Greens. What they want is for Scholz to be Merkel. And the electoral campaign itself was fought to the mark of "who is Merkel more between Laschet and Scholz?". If it were up to the Germans, they would have voted for Merkel forever, to say it all.

• Germany ends up in uncertainty.

The fact that it is a nation unfamiliar to Italian journalists, and the fact that it has government tricks that in Italy are inconvenient to name (maximum 3 amendments to the law, constructive distrust, and others) does not make it an enigma wrapped in mystery. It has always been normal that there are months of negotiations to give birth to the government program, which is then signed and (usually) implemented. This is why they take months to argue: then they have to really do it. An embarrassing thing to say in Italy, where "government contracts" are signed that are worth as much as ass paper.

• There is a political vacuum in Germany.

Even less. Apart from the fact that it is a federal system with very powerful Bundesländer, who are in their place, Merkel will remain in the government until another one is made, or else they go to vote. It is not clear which function has failed, if not the fact that Merkel is in ordinary administration.

• The Germans have decided not to decide.

Instead, it seems to me that, looking at the numbers, the message is clear: the Germans want the same two parties they ruled before (CDU and SPD), but they want them greener and more digital (Grünen), and less conservative.

• Traffic light coalitions, Jamaika, Kenya, and others.

The habit of placing FDP where it suits you, as if it were any bush, is almost unnerving. FDP has a pretty strong thinking (even if I don't approve of the tea party, they are certainly not "moderate" liberalists), a rather long history, a very strong identity, and has already messed up an attempt to build a government “Jamaika” together with the greens, precisely because of the difference of views. It is not clear how it is considered a bush ready to ally with anyone. Slowly repeat: "if there is yellow, there is no red, and no green either". Or something went VERY wrong.

• The Germans are undecided.

It doesn't seem like it. If there's one thing Scholz said, it's that he intends to make an estate. Yes, a patrimonial (UAZ, UAZ, UAZ, diabolical laugh !!!!) and raising taxes for the rich, an essential condition for forming a government. And the Germans have, in fact, given him a lot of more votes by taking them away from the CDU. It seems clear to me what the Germans want: more taxes for the rich and a property. The Italian press, which is even saying that the failure of the electronic land registry is good, will have to deal with it. Germany will make a patrimonial. (UAZ, UAZ, UAZ, devilish laugh !!!!)

• A long time for a government.

The times to make a government in Germany have ALWAYS been long, even when moving from one Merkel government to another Merkel government. Predicting long lead times for a German government is like predicting that the sun will rise tomorrow. You can do it, but you shouldn't expect a Nobel Prize for it.

• It was a revolution.

I would not say. The only "revolutionary" party is that of Baerbock, which following the green tradition managed to break its legs by itself, losing almost ten points in the electoral campaign compared to the initial predictions. She is prepared, but her spin doctors all seem to be Vendola's friends. "The time of flights to Palma de Mallorca with 10 euros are over", said at the end of a pandemic with people drooling to go on vacation was not, how to say, brilliant. After this, no revolution is seen.

• Scholz said that.

One of the things the Italian press does is take advantage of the fact that German is not widely spoken. And so they enjoy misunderstanding phrases at random. For example, to reassure the Italian public opinion on the item "patrimonial" and "more taxes to the rich" they made Scholz say that now he wants to govern with the liberals, that is, with a party that has an absolutely opposite program to the other two guests. . He was actually talking about something else. You should take into account the fact that there are a lot of expats in Germany, that there is the internet, and therefore the world does not hang on the lips of Mastrobuoni, known as “the Berliner”.

Here, try to stop saying the obvious with great fanfare, and start being realistic.

And ask yourself, at the most, what will happen when they make a patrimonial, and all those looking for German leadership will have to say it.

This, at best, is the "revolution". But I don't see the Corriere to explain it.