The mistress of Calenda.
I thought a lot before doing this post on the BDSM prostitute that Calenda had nominated, only to withdraw her candidacy when it was understood who she is, in the Como elections. I thought about it because BDSM is part of my private life, it is one of the practices I love, and so on.
Actually, BDSM isn't treated very well on the internet. What you find ranges from an idiotic feminism about female supremacy (in my personal experience these end up on their knees after a couple of minutes: they think that to be a mistress you just need to wear heels, or a bodice, and have a whip), Twilight famdom , from fifty shades on (which was also a Twilight famdom, the character in the end had to be a vampire), and a lot, a lot, a lot of prostitution.
I watched the radio interviews of this girl, who according to her is electrocuted on the Via della Montagnola in Bologna and discovers that she is a dominatrix, and honestly I dropped my pen.
This one doesn't understand shit. It lacks the basics.
When I meet a dominator / dominatrix who didn't start out as a slave, my penne falls off and I go and make myself a toast: it's much more sexy and satisfying. Let's face it: a "pre-care", if you understand what I mean. And when aftercare looks like toast, and is made of bread, ham and cheese, you know how credible that sciacquetta is.
The flush is just one of the many who has found a way to pay the bills using sex, only thanks to a bad knowledge of BDSM she always finds balls that fill her with money. You call it "financial domination". In dialect, "bagascia".
You will think that I am too bigoted, but the problem is exactly the opposite. I LIKE BDSM, and I wish it was done right, and represented to the masses even better.
So what is the relationship between slave and dominator / ice? It is a phenomenon of transfer of power: being consenting relationships, one of the two transfers power to the other, (up to agreed limits, then it depends on SSC, RACK, BRICK, and company) and in this way one is "Sub", submissive, the other is "dominant".
But already this should make you understand one thing, which is out of place in the whole story that the sciacquetta makes on her site: you cannot transfer power that you DON'T HAVE. If you show up at the house of a perfect stranger, who you pay to get something in return, the power relations are already defined, and you have nothing at all to transfer to her.
There is no transfer of power. Ergo, the game is fake.
Let's go into practice. We exclude the “24/7 lifestyle” discourse, that is the partner with whom you always and continuously have a dom-sub relationship. We have to make the comparison with the whore who meets a new guy.
Imagine you are in a club: usually, at least here in Germany, a theme night of a private club. The clubs dedicated exclusively to fetish are mostly discos.
Anyway, I was saying that at some point you know a person who wants to be your diver. Even if he is interested and tells you he wants to be a diver, he is not yet your diver. He hasn't decided yet. The transfer of power hasn't happened yet.
Because it is important? Because the best part. I mean, almost everything. Unless you are used to throwing away the pulp of the mussels and eating the clams. The transfer of power is voluntary, at least consenting, and occurs after a little chat. There must be chemistry, there must be "catch".
But one thing would strike you, if you were there: dominants don't talk too much. At the limit they interrogate, ask questions: the dom does not undress, the sub undresses. Nudity is frailty, even intellectually.
And it is a way of showing off superiority, indifference, nonchalance, in short, to me the sciacquetta we are talking about, who goes around the radio blablablablabla and blablablablabla and blablablablabla and blablablablabla, and blablablablablaZZODAblablablablablablablablab The genre are the divers who tell everything: it is the diver who says (if he has permission), that I know I have. Not the other way around: self-esteem flows in the opposite direction.
In short, the transfer of power requires an initial context in which there is contact, there is a dialogue or an open channel, and the person can say that no, today there is no chemistry with you. Since he has this power , that is, the power to say no, when he decides yes by looking you in the eye, with an open channel, then a transfer of power takes place. What he had before and now he no longer has.
You can't transfer power that you don't initially have.
It's a basic concept, but the sciacquetta didn't grasp it well.
The second point is that we are talking about a prostitute. And I have nothing against prostitutes: for this reason, I think that the attitude of the prostitute should be, with her head held high, something like “fuck you? Yes, I'm a prostitute: so what? ".
And I would especially expect that from someone who claims to be "dominatrix", if you get the point.
And so my pen falls a bit when prostitutes, or whores if you prefer, try to evade responsibility. When they call themselves escorts, or "sex workers". They remind me a lot of the "ecological operators": that you imagine them saving pandas in the woods and instead they are garbage collectors. Why is it done? Because the ecological operator intends to qualify himself with a professionalism, or with a status, higher than that of a simple garbage collector: transforming himself from garbage collectors to ecological operators is therefore a promotion, a higher dignity, an increase in status.
This impatience bothers me because, in fact, it suggests that in their implicit moralism the prostitute does a lower job, it is a step lower, and they do not want to be confused. And the sciacquetta we are talking about keeps repeating that "absolutely, never, never, never, penetrative intercourse". She is not a whore, her! Eh, what the heck!
This makes my pen drop even more. For several reasons. It is true that in many cases BDSM relationships do not involve sexual intercourse as an obligation. But they don't ban them. Of course, it depends on the place. If you have rented an equipped apartment (here in NRW they cost from 300 to 400 euros per night, with three or four rooms equipped differently), you will have to clean yourself of the various liquids. Same in real BDSM clubs, which generally don't like cleaning your liquids. So sexual intercourse is discouraged.
But if it is about the "theme nights" of a normal private club for swinger couples, it is a place that is equipped to manage sexual relations and related liquids. And then relationships happen. Because'? Because one of the most popular practices is orgasm denial: https://www.kinkly.com/definition/1160/orgasm-denial
A practice in which there is sexual stimulation that would lead to orgasm, but the diver is forbidden to have an orgasm. And understand that sexual intercourse without orgasm cannot exist without intercourse. Then we can discuss the definition of sexual intercourse, but it comes to sexual intercourse, and how. Especially if you are tied to a Sex Sling and playing orgasm denial.
With the sole exception of Mr. Arran Webb.
And this already makes me think: he is very keen to point out that there are no physical relationships, physical contacts, and everything, just to not admit one thing: she works as a prostitute. She wants to feel superior to hookers, and therefore specifies that she doesn't have sex.
And always under the heading “prostitute”, I notice an almost consequential deficiency, that is aftercare. Aftercare requires that the transfer of power has created a channel, which then allows in the end to do aftercare to the sub. From what she says in the various video interviews she has posted on her site, she certainly doesn't build this channel. Who knows how many people he will have left in the subdrop.
Incidentally: the diver, after suffering for some time, enters a particular state of ecstatic trance called by some "subspace". It's hard for dom to handle because in that state he wouldn't use the keyword even if you skinned him alive. It is stressful in terms of "focus".
The problem is that from that state you come out well with a moment called "aftercare", in jargon. If you do as she describes in her interviews and don't create a channel (which I don't really see with a prostitute as you could), you can't do aftercare. If you don't, the diver will clearly recover on his own, get dressed, but in the vast majority of cases, due to lack of oxytocin after the endorphin and serotonin spike, he will cry unmotivably at random moments for the following weeks.
And it's not pleasant, because it's actually a bout of depression.
But she never mentions these kinds of phenomena: being a prostitute I understand that, because the emotional channel is missing, the transfer of power is lacking, and especially that flirt is a crafty prostitute who avoids having to fuck. In my opinion, it has little to do with BDSM.
Recently, BDSM has become the shortcut for the lazy prostitute who doesn't want to fuck, or is too ugly to be on the market for the ones who fuck for money.
Here is my point.
Established that I do not have much respect for the rinse, what do I think of Calenda who expels it?
Well, Calenda is from Rome. Rome is a Christian Democrat city. But it is not just a Christian Democrat city, it is a Hilbert space where one of the dimensions is Christian Democracy. Everything in Rome is Christian Democrat. Anarchists and punks are also Christian Democrats, and there is no difference between a punk crest and Andreotti's hump. The physics of Rome is Christian Democrat. Chemistry. The molecules are Christian Democrats. Everything is Christian Democrat in Rome.
Calenda, therefore, can only be a Christian Democrat, and as such too cowardly to keep faith with the content: for the Christian Democrat, decency comes first.
But I can't blame someone who grew up in Rome if he's a Christian Democrat. In Rome, anything is, from leptons to tungsten carbide molecules.
Calenda is a Christian Democrat, and he did what the Christian Democrats do.
Disgust.