Maestro Bracardi, music. (AKA, Sanremo da Expat).
If you are an expat and have expat friends, any forum / group of expats you frequent, you will find yourself in these days discussing sanremo. I consider it one of those "syndromes of shit", that is, shit is shit, it smells like shit and looks like shit, but when you take a look at the gross domestic product you give it to him, before you flush the water.
I did not watch the festival because, essentially, the Italian spoken on TV is so catastrophic as to be harmful to children and young people: for this reason I do not follow the rumors that say "I paid the RAI channels because it was so the children hear a little Italian or see programs in Italian ”. Much better, just in case, to pay a teacher and give the kids private lessons.
That said, everything I know about Sanremo comes from the headlines online, plus what I hear on telegram. Expat groups on other social networks are divided into two categories: “being southerner today” and “we're too chic, like these bavbavi putean”: nothing interesting. There is also a group of people who call themselves "Italians of new immigration", to state that they are not "southerners of today", but not even "jocks escaped from an apocalypse of apericene with prosecco". I'm just a snob, that's all. I felt the need: who wouldn't want to deal with characters so snobbish that women cross their legs even to drive the car?
What I see is a progressive Doppler effect of Sanremo, which having absorbed the culture of commercial TV is starting to mix national-popular elements with provincial socialist elements. I refer to the convergence between the old Sanremo and the old Maurizio Costanzo Show.
For those young, the Maurizio Costanzo Show was a kind of freak show in which Costanzo limited himself to giving notoriety to absurd, exaggerated, grotesque, ridiculous, pathetic, deformed characters. Characters like D'agostino and Salvini were born from the MSC, but the Realians have had moments of notoriety, and other freaks that you can taste here , like rude ones.
In addition to these characters, there was the “CRINGE story” part. In the “cringe story”, model later imitated by other broadcasts, there was the strange person who had a strange / dramatic story and then tear / scream / insults, and so on. Here, from what I hear Sanremo is incorporating elements of Cringe MSC.
They range from the one who was rightly disqualified but wrongly resqualified, and wonders if the world of international sport is a corrupt shit: at this step towards 2050 he will discover how children are born. I hope. After all, it is a world where billions of euros spin without controls, it has its own justice, it is a terrain of geopolitical clashes, it is infiltrated by secret services from all over the world, and it is a propaganda tool of the worst regimes in history: what could it ever go wrong? But this time they made it big, because they touched OUR champion. And therefore, Maestro Bracardi, Music!
Then there's the one who grew up in the Amazon. A place that he describes as "without food, without running water, without hot water, without money, without anything". Then it turns out that he is not in the Amazon, but we talk about Lazio. And so since she had almost given up on that place that looks like an American probe that describes Mars, but was in Lazio, she decides to thank her jazz piano teacher. In practice it was a planet "without food, without running water, without hot water, without money, without light, without electricity, without anything", but the most abundant chemical element was "the jazz piano teacher". Mendelev as if it were raining. NASA is planning to send a Rover to Lazio, I believe, but the difficult environmental conditions require very robust instrumentation, at the limits of technology. Materials capable of resisting even two hours to a Jazz piano teacher are being studied. NASA, you know, is NASA.
Always under the freaks item, the one who disguises himself cannot be missing. Now, there are many things to say about those singers who dress up, and even those who dress up as Renato Zero: they look like Renato Zero. And let's be clear, it's not an insult: there are people who look like the Dimmu Borgir, believe it or not. For example, the Dimmu Borgir . However, they invite this one who is famous for dressing up, and then the smart ones say "yes, but now it's enough to dress up". Basically, the transvestite is invited to make those who criticize him for dressing up feel intelligent. Without the transvestite, the smart ones would have to talk about boobs, which they do to other broadcasts. But not Sanremo. In Sanremo the intelligent talk about the fool who disguises himself.
A recent thing is that the relationship between "Woman" and "Superpaid Passerone" has been reversed. Before, there were two presenters: Tizio Patasimpatico and Passerone Superpaid. Then at a certain point the Woman entered the scene. The Woman with a capital D was a girl who, surprisingly, was intelligent and was successful in some profession, in Italy or abroad, and everyone applauded her and threw peanuts at her because an intelligent woman who is successful is a rarity. which is only seen in the zoo. But now things have changed. There are TWO patasympathetic guys, because the overpaid Sparrow is considered offensive. On the other hand, the role of Superpaid Passerone merged with that of Donna. For example, it happens that the same chick who acts as an overpaid passerine is no longer overpaid, but does a half-naked song with a body like a overpaid passerine, surrounded by dancers in guepiere, but she is also an Intelligent Woman who has her done, and has the Personality because it can survive on the Lazio Planet, breathing "only jazz piano teacher." To hide the fact that not all women are women, we act in contrast and invite an overpaid Sparrow who is really overpaid (so the moralists can be scandalized by the remuneration), and since it is a Higher Order Sparrow (POS from here on), makes it seem that the others are toilets, and therefore they almost look like Women, because the woman can also be a passerone but not a POS. In short: any female is a woman, if not in the act at least potentially, and the overpaid passerone is relegated to his role, so that the less attractive ones can say "yes, but that's just a passerone, you want to put Women who are also intelligent and have personalities? ”. Ok. We all believe it.
The senile youths and the youthful carampane. There are two essential ingredients of Sanremo. The senile young people, i.e. actors who play the young as the elderly imagine the young (i.e. useless bogus incapable but engaged in useless ideals minchiosi style sixty-eight), and the juvenile carampane, or people who impersonate the granny as young people see it on youporn, they have unlikely hair, but in Sanremo they are dressed and do not suck the cocks of their son's friends with a Russian carpet hanging on the wall. They are like this: in Sanremo these things are not done. This sparkling mix of cadaverine in addition to exciting the coroners serves to give an intergenerational tone to Sanremo, while the real young people kill themselves with machetes in the streets, play video games and are watching TokTok. Outside Sanremo, the young carampane always have unlikely hair but of lighter colors, they do not hang from the walls of Russian carpets, they wear more leopard-print clothes and as for fucking friends of their nephew, we talk about it as soon as they learn to use a social network decently. We look forward to it. Even the Postal Police.
It also takes the 'Actuality'. This is to avoid that Sanremo becomes an escape program because we know: the Actuality is a prison from which YOU CANNOT escape. So, if the current situation is Covid, you need to put Covid in it. And here the theater has no spectators and the chairs with balloons are framed. In reality it would have been enough NOT to frame the chairs, as is done with many shows where the public is not framed. But here it is necessary to bring in the Actuality and therefore the empty chairs are framed. And as if that weren't enough, there's the Infected Competitor. With what was saved for the organization without people, you could also host the groups and keep them in lockdown for 40 days before the festival, but the Infected Competitor is needed. However, in order to demonstrate that the DDA is modern and Sanremo is as modern as the DDA, “they can also win in the DDA”. That doesn't have a shit to do with it because the D of DaD is "didactic", but working remotely would be improper because it would require work in Sanremo. Ok, you have my understanding. Anyway yes, the news has arrived, so no spectator will be able to escape. Bastards, you have to suffer.
La Grossa Minchia del Liceo. Since the two Patasimpatici guys they present have to be nice, they are high school students. They remember what high school was like in their day, and they do the things they did in high school to laugh. What did boys do to have fun in high school? They drew GM, Grosse Minchie. Since they cannot draw one, it appears among the empty armchairs, in the form of a balloon. Ah, ah, ah! A fuck! Ha, ha ha! How nice these high school students. It would be funny if the high schools weren't closed for Covid, but this is still Current, from which you CANNOT escape.
The weird young people. The senile youth do not have the faintest chance to take the young youths out of Tik TOk. But to remove a young player of today from TikTok it takes more than sanremo. As if that weren't enough, last night there was Germany Next Top Model. Removing the two girls of the house from the TV to watch Sanremo would have been impossible: not even the Large Hadron Collider could do it. But it doesn't matter, because in Italy there are no German programs and therefore a few weird young people are enough. Barefoot people, people with unlikely hairstyles, young people from the FGCI (who in 2021 are the right young people, but we know that those who die for Achille Occhetto have lived a lot), and if these little bastards still do not detach themselves from TikTok, we also put on the final inexorable total nuclear weapon: the Ferragnez, the universal influencers, who miss the age of the adolescent public of only 15 years. For a nuclear, it's not bad.
There is also the time of the charity. As you know, with Covid, footballers are in terrible conditions. There are some who can't even change supermodels and are condemned to keep the same hot girlfriend for two years. Think of the agony. This is how charity is given to a footballer, a certain Ibra, by inviting him. What is ibra doing in sanremo? Dunno, but what the hell is the bum you give alms to? Anything. Sometimes thanks, but not always. I didn't say “busker”. In any case, yes, to put it as in the thirteenth warrior, "I have not heard rumors of his heroic exploits". In short, the historians of the future will wonder if Ibra has really been to Sanremo, with Barbero's nephew who says yes because it is the "cheapest hypothesis", and the great-grandson of Alberto Angela who says "economic a fucking, it cost a bang ”. These scientists, so attached to cold numbers.
Here, this is about the Sanremo from Expat.