In the famous book "Il Gattopardo", a certain Tancredi pronounces the phrase "If we want everything to remain as it is, everything must change", to indicate the fact that in an unstable world, to remain stable it is necessary to adapt to impending conditions, such as revolutions or cultural changes.

I had a few minutes to read about the composition of the "new" Dragonopard government, and I clearly saw one of the best examples of this enunciation.

First we need to understand what is the emergency behind this government. Because the need to "redo everything" cannot be explained by the arrival of money. The emergency is missing, in the sense that it has not been explained to the public. I was able to think of only one model that explains EVERYTHING that happened.

So, the emergency is called “Italian public debt at 160% of GDP, and GDP collapsing, and the ECB that has already rejected two speculative attacks on the debt” (the part they didn't tell you). It is the price of the last two governments, mind you: it is true that the pandemic has pumped a lot, but the situation was already serious before.

At this point, since a public debt of 160% can only be exited at the price of a “Greek” recipe, which is, moreover, impossible in Italy, the ECB knows it must continue with its policy for at least a decade. He therefore set a condition: we continue to support this position ONLY if there is any of our members in power in Italy. Hence, one of the ECB must be Prime Minister or President of the Republic.

But a real commissioner does not go down easily in Italy. So the sovereignists say no, like Di Maio who does not use the MES. Imagine a dialogue like this:

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• we at the ECB continue to support you only if there is an adult one of our men in power. Otherwise flab.
• we sovereigns will NEVER accept! Rather we go out of Europe.
• go ahead and do it, so we can buy your sisters and wives for two pennies, and on the financial disaster we will come to do sex tourism on Lombard girls.
• uhm. But all the girls?
• no, you will be indebted to us for a few million girls. And a surety on the prom-born.
• gulp. Yes, okay, “let's choose the first strategy. Ewwiwa the man of the ECB !!! " But there is a problem that we sovereignists do not know how to solve …
• as if you have never been able to solve a problem before. Let's hear, intellectual hemorrhoid shake, what problem would that be?
• it would be that in the current conditions if we say that Draghi comes to commission us, people go to the street with pitchforks, and we don't even control them.
• that's all, mister arbre magique with the smell of foreskin 2020 ?
• well, it seems like a serious problem to me …
• listen to me, intimate cleanser for hippos, I tell you what you will do if you do not want the markets to buttfuck you so hard that your grandmothers bleed inside the graves: you will put what we will tell you in power, and around him you will build a condom of idiots, familiar people, who make you believe that the Italians have the situation in hand. You still have Cicciolina somewhere, right?
• For Cicciolina we can ask, but … who would this man be that we have to put in power?
• Mario Draghi.
• Fuck, and thank goodness we had to make the Italians believe we had the situation in hand. But don't you have another one?
• You can choose between him, Doctor Mengele di Rewe (defrosted in the microwave), and Korgull the Exterminator (*), dear tarzanelli from the Calabrian quantum state.
• gulp. This Draghi seems like a good person to us. It seems feasible to us.
• Obviously it's feasible, mister rectal bowel cream: it's OUR plan, remember?
• Pure magic as usual, O Divine Lady of the Dane '. We humbly congratulate you on your genius. We will have to give you some you, right?
• To me you have to give of Those, at least. And I'm not done here yet: you shovel shit on a white wall, that is the League, you will apply to join the EPP, that is, in Merkel's party. The woman who changed the concept of Elegance in Europe. You're already excited, aren't you?
• occazz .. er. Yes, a lot, really. He has admirable buttocks: you can see that he does Zumba. Any other orders, your infinite commandment?
• No, that's enough for now, dear encyclopedia of toilet brushes . Take your leave as well.
• But I have the military …
• It means get out of my way, helicopter of pricks.

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Obviously, this is exaggerated because Madame Lagarde has more refined musical tastes, but everything else is quite accurate and logical. Ah, no, the frozen Doctor Mengele is not from Rewe, he is from "Real-". You have to be careful. Science wants it!

And so now comes the Dragon Leopard, who makes a government like this:

1. Il DragoPardo himself, who will then ascend to President of the Republic and continue to act as commissioner of the country.
2. A jumble of any character that the Italians (especially the old ones) have heard of, from Gelmini to Colao, including Brunetta, Carfagna, Di Maio, and Orlando of the PD. (maybe maybe, Mengele wasn't really… okay).

Cicciolina is warming up on the bench. One day, they will find the bench and say it was a religious ritual of our times. They always say this when they don't understand something.

In essence, the narrative of the "New" does not stand up. You can't do the "New" when you put everyone who built the old as ministers. Of the two, the Monti government has brought new characters to power, such as Fornero, who had never seen herself before: but the Monti government was there to desperately prevent the last defenses from yielding, while Draghi is there after the ramparts they went in crumbs. It's there for the surrender.

the "New" is made up of all that the old has set up.

And that's why I refer to the Leopard. Because behind all the can-can of the new that arrives, of the competent who now puts everyone back in place (if he can find the Italian flag at the ceremonies without the help of the Navy), of the "high profile government" of Manzotina Memoria, all you see is:

• an incredible political overestimation of Forza Italia, with an exaggerated representation of characters who in the past led the newspapers to write “Fate Presto!”.
• a representation of M5S and Lega, which also does not participate in the government.
• The leaders of the PD.
• Renzi withdraws the hustler and takes the family minister.
• The Lega accountant, Giorgetti, as minister of economic development. (No, it is not a joke). A Northern League also for disabilities, that the cops will have to practice the truncheon on someone.
• As if that weren't enough, Meloni and Salvini take Copasir as a corollary because they are in opposition. If a train station blows up around ten, you know why.

But do you know that almost the frozen Mengele from Real was not to be despised? There was also the 3 × 2, to say it all.

Is this railway disaster landscape all that remains of your dreams of a "competent government", a "high profile government"? Seriously?

Of course, the financiers are pleased that the spread has lowered (they must also find 1.7 billion to give to Montepaschi, that is the Alitalia of the banks), and therefore the Elkann newspapers celebrate, but we are really sure what a "high profile"?

Of course, after seeing Giggino and dealing with a pandemic with a party that doesn't believe in vaccines, it may seem that this government is "high profile", but it must be admitted that a family of anteaters on acid would have produced the same, reassuring feeling. to be in better hands than before.

So, from my point of view, popcorn time begins now: see how they'll make you digest this too. From now on, any reading of the Italian newspapers will be simply fun. By now we have passed that "point of inversion", the moment in which the forces are reversed and obtained A Bose-Einstein condensate a universe in which satire says more serious things about power than the organs of power say.

And when fools look like serious people, there's nothing to be done. Cognitive dissonance is now a normal condition, and newspapers are only for having a laugh.

And remember: you still have time for the 3 × 2 from Real-.

(*) According to some Canadian musicians called “Voivods” there was such a barbaric population in the parts of Croatia that it became extinct due to cannibalism. After the rape. At the end of the impalement. Which followed the battle. Fought against anything that walked. Fought by blows of cast iron plows on the skull. And this Korgull was the leader. Everything is described in a valuable academic work, an apotropaic and itiphallic album entitled “rrröööaaarrr” . Enjoy, sluts.