Brain assassination.

When I write a post critical of the excesses or fallacies of modern feminism, I regularly find myself with several men (usually married or divorced) who find ways to contact me and find (their words) the “courage to contact me”. Now, speaking of them I would be betraying, in a certain sense, my promise to keep what I said to myself. But I can say a lot, a lot, about the fact that a person might need courage to confide in a guy who lives in another country under a pseudonym and speak up.

So, instead of talking about what they tell me, betraying their trust, I prefer to talk about the method, that is: why would it take "courage" to speak under a pseudonym with an unknown guy who lives between 1000 and 2,000 km?

What happened to your mind to be "afraid to speak"?

You look like people who came out of a Gulag. Terrified by your captors. Shock. Traumatized. And there's a reason, a pattern I've observed in Italian couples I know, let's say over the last 30 years, which is “brain assassination”. Mental murder, if you like. I know the British will use things like "verbal abuse" to minimize, but it's not minimal at all, and it's very painful.

It is a procedure that literally kills the mind. And by killing the mind, it effectively reduces you to larvae that survive to work and work to survive.

I don't know if Italian women do it consciously, but I really don't care. What matters is to recognize the process, and stop it. But let's go to the "how". How do they practice this brain assassination? How to recognize if you are being murdered by your wife? Over time, I have drawn up ten points which coincide with what I observe and which some "have the courage" to tell me.

1. The End of Sex . For us, as males, having sex has a priority that I would define as "high", because it helps us to keep our self-esteem high. And before having children, the priority seemed high for her too. This high priority, this urge to do it here and now , constituted "passion". But once the children are born, it becomes clear what the philosophers of ancient Greece have always tried to tell us: women do not like sex, but reproduction. It needs sex, so it's easy to misunderstand the intentions, but after reproduction, for the woman, sex has priority 99, for you it always has priority two, right after survival. When sex has priority 99, your feeling will be that your person has the same priority. And the annihilation of self-esteem begins. Clearly she will accuse YOU of having caused the end of sex, accusing you of not "courting" her, but if you look inside carefully, if you observe the phenomenon finely, you will discover that the seduction on her side has failed, and only one of the two can't do everything. However, you're already starting to navigate the waters of low self-esteem, and that's bad. The assassination is already underway.
2. The end of the fun. Initially, having fun together was a high priority activity. Then the priority went down, down to "watering the plants". Going out, going to concerts, doing things requires planning that always clashes with some priority that you accept as such so as not to offend it, but honestly for you it would come immediately after "stroking a cactus". There's always one more thing that's more important, and the funny girl you married turns into a chick who gives up a concert because she has to go onion shopping three days later. Onions, the real priority. This sends the message that spending fun time with you is the least of priorities. Feminists will sell you the fact that if you go buy onions, then she has time. Certain. To buy peppers: another priority will always arise. The goal is to assassinate you, remember?
3. The end of physical contact . Caresses, hugs, smiles. Three of the things that make married life worth living. From a certain point on, all of that disappears. As the male perceives love through physical channels, the result is that you begin to feel rejected, unwanted, invisible. Since your self-esteem needs to feel the other way around, the result is that again, you begin to navigate the murky waters of low self-esteem. Under these conditions, you will soon die “inside”. Not because a chick doesn't pamper you anymore: the problem is that she's not just any chick. She's the one you married. And that it is slowly murdering you.
4. The collapse of your free time . I saw a woman say to her husband “I saw this girl I haven't seen in a while. Keep yourself free this weekend, because we plan to see each other.' Ultimately, he has allocated you two days of your time, in which you can no longer plan anything, because at a random moment you will know that at a certain time the girl will stop by for a coffee. Available time, half an hour, time allocated by you, two days. The only two free of your week. This way of allocating time will effectively make it impossible for you to plan anything from the gym to going out with friends. Ultimately, it won't control your time, it will simply make it unplannable. That is useless. In this way you will lose passions and friends. Another nail in your coffin.
5. It will never be enough . Another devastating game for your self-esteem is that whatever you do is not enough. And it's true. If you have your killer at home, don't let her judge you, because whatever you do will never be enough. You will never be good enough as a father, you will NEVER do enough around the house, you will never be supportive enough, you will NEVER let her hear what she wants to hear. And once again, since you are alone and she is practically the only mirror you have, death by contempt is coming. If you are already at this point, you are the walking dead .
6. You always do the wrong thing . Your partner becomes emotionally unstable, changing emotional orientation constantly. Whatever you do based on what you know, you're going to find a chick who's already changed her mind or emotional state. So, you will always do the wrong thing. The gaslighting effect is continuous. You thought she liked A, do thing A, but you find that you don't understand anything because she likes thing B. But don't try to do B, because she likes C, and she even told you so. And since as a male a pillar of self-esteem is competence, this constant sense of incompetence kills you. You will begin to navigate the black sea of ​​low self-esteem.
7. The things you like are stupid. Do you love science fiction? What stupid stuff, you are still children. Do you like carpentry? Yes, well, now comes Pinocchio, and then you're not even good. Whatever you do or enjoy is stupid boyish childishness. Not as smart as Brazilian soap operas, not as useful as making glass bowls with moss and a cactus in them, or as life-saving as shopping. But what you do will always be stupid and childish, and it will always cost too much. And your self-esteem sinks.
8. No one to confide in. The last time you confided in her, you had what you said in your face. Anything you confide in your wife will be used against you. Are you alone. If by any chance you show your feelings, if you let your guard down, you will be stabbed using what you said. You are alone, you cannot confide in each other, until you "find the courage to talk about it with a guy who has a blog". If you are at this point, you are dead.
9. Your needs are infantilized. Especially after pregnancy, you have become children. They will start doing everything to them, with the result that you control nothing of your economic activities. You need them for everything you do, just like a child who wants to sign up for football: he doesn't "go" to football. The mother "takes" him to play football: if you find that you can't do anything on your own because you don't know where the documents are, how this contract works, etc., it is because someone has become the mother of the house. Yours too. Self-esteem in collapse, and so you become ornaments.
10. You complain too much, you whine too much. Your wife acts as if any protests, any discomfort, are exaggerations. Nothing you fear is really to be feared, none of your anxieties really make sense, nothing you don't like at home is really a big thing to change, nothing you really like is worth trying. Your emotions do not exist. After all, that time they listen to you… see point 8.

These ten techniques, all together, performed for years, achieve what is called mental assassination. A situation in which you will not be dead: you will pray you are. I've heard stories of men who fell out of bed because they instinctively tried to escape from their wives, shifting to the edge until they fell.

Now, we can discuss verbal abuse or whatever, but the point is that if you hit a woman you are monsters, but if she does this to you, by law she has done nothing. It has murdered your mind, but there's nothing you can do about it.

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Before we start with the questions: there are no tactics. It makes no sense to ask me “what if”. This would mean living in war. But you didn't get married to make a war. It makes no sense. You must leave that house, not sleep in mortal danger. There is no technique to neutralize his.

If what I wrote happens to you, it's a matter of survival. The only solution is divorce. Stop whining about how difficult it is for you: it is ALWAYS difficult. Always.

The only positive thing is that a woman who does what I wrote above to you (80/90% confidence) is certainly cheating on you. Go to a private investigator and ask for proof. After that, you start with a divorce, and you're right. You won't even have to pay alimony, if you're right.

Do not engage in an arm wrestle, or a confrontation, in which nothing is won. And remember that in the long run the killer always wins. You can just leave, and get it out of the way. For your sake. For your survival. You have married a monster: flee, fools!

And so, after a few years of divorce, you will discover one thing: that you don't need any courage to confide in someone. That you don't have to "work up the courage" to talk about it with me, a stranger you find on the internet. Because without that monster killing you, you can talk about whatever you want with whoever you want.

It's normal for the living.