Hypochondria fashion.
Hi, my name is Giuseppe Rossi. I suggested we go out and eat something together, and now I inform you that I am allergic to gluten. So we can't go to a normal restaurant. But since I'm also autistic and depressed, we can't even go to those other two. And since I'm also non-binary, that's not good either. And you will go around the city all evening, slaves, to find a restaurant based on neutrinos only, to which I am not allergic / intolerant / assault helicopter.
I think it's time to say a few words about hypochondria fashion. This is the phenomenon for which every empty, lazy and useless imbecile under thirty who wants to seem interesting, rather than find a hobby to talk about, decides to invent a pathology.
Initially I thought it was the big pharma lobby. After all, if there are all these depressants, they will sell a lot of antidepressants. But no: 90% of depressed people are not cured at all, if not by swallowing a pill of some food supplement based on the most absurd precursors of melatonin. Which are fine for sleeping, but nothing more.
Then I began to notice that these are phenomena that go far beyond known medical statistics. And I have begun to meet, especially because of the pharmacies, some extravagant specialists who would be able to measure, by means of an Ohmeter, your food intolerances.
And I'm starting to understand.
I'm beginning to understand that 95% of the "gluten intolerant" are just burglars. I'm starting to understand that, apart from a few cases, there aren't that many people with ADHD around. And I'm starting to be sure that people who say they are “autistic” on social media are usually NOT.
And I'm starting to understand that many of their symptoms are being googleed, and then misinterpreted. I give an example. According to some, people on the asperger's spectrum have problems with gender, and therefore find themselves uncomfortable with gender roles.
Which is true. But not in the sense that those who say they are Aspergers say they are non-rail / trans / assault helicopters on the internet.
I am (un) fortunate to have some people on the asperger spectrum on my team at work. And I really am . And I must say that they are definitely not comfortable with gender roles: you will never see females become sex bombs with a killer chunk and a slit in the skirt. Ditto for males, also due to a certain tendency that all Aspergers have, to gain a lot of weight in the upper part of the body.
But that doesn't mean they're binary or transgender or whatever: if anything, it's the other way around. If you want to put an Asperger in trouble, what you have to do is force them to remember, in addition to faces and names, also the pronoun (zey zus sptrat zem dern whatever) that these fashionable siroccas are inventing. Are people on the Asperger's spectrum already terribly fatigued by the effort of recognizing your face and associating it with a name, and you also force them to remember pronouns? But have you ever met one before deciding that they are almost automatically part of the world
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No, that's not how it works. For these people it is already a huge effort to find themselves in the gender rules, and to change gender or find an intermediate shade FOR THEM IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT. You would be complicating life, making it chaotic, for people who literally panic when they see chaos. Two genres are too many for them to handle.
Of course, I know: being a fashion, for many Asperger's went out of fashion two years ago. Much to the relief of those who are really on the spectrum, I have to say. But the mere fact that these people have a hard time with their own gender doesn't mean they also want to complicate their lives with ANOTHER gender, or with any of today's nuances, including assault helicopters.
Instead the clever "woke" went to some site, read that people on the Asperger's spectrum struggle with gender rules (and social rules in general, I would add) and then deduced that they too identify with some invented genre, including assault helicopters.
No. Make no mistake that a person who really suffers from Asperger's can find some satisfaction in a world that invents a new genre a month, with two or three new pronouns. For them this is disorder and complication, and the only thing you will get is anxiety.
Another point is allergies and intolerances. Which are invented from scratch, in most cases. I am not saying that they do not exist: I am saying that they exist, in the numbers that are shown by packs and packs of medical statistics.
Gluten allergy sufferers are a microscopic amount of the population. They certainly exist. But they are very few. Less than one for ten thousand. This gigantic wave of gluten allergy sufferers, which seems to be going through as depressed and anorexic are going (so 90s, my lady !! It's so out …), is largely a youth trend, supported by a lot of the food industry that wants to pay to write that your shampoo is gluten-free.
The truth is that vegans are now isolated, they no longer have friends and are reduced to the sect of fanatics that they are. And therefore, since pissing their balls on each other bores them, some of those elements are inventing the most unlikely allergies.
I am allergic to ballbugs, for example, and so I feel them right away.
Who knows why the nut crack allergy is never taken seriously, huh?
Now, I know that celiacs are going out of fashion this year too, and a wave of people who "detransition" are putting an end to those who claimed to have gender dysphoria.
So we should no longer have problems with burglars who need a precise invented pronoun, and also the number of celiacs, it seems, is returning to the physiological numbers that science accepts.
BUT beware, because other fashions are about to arrive: Fashion NEVER stops.
So, in the ranking of autumn winter 2022/23 fashion hypochondria, we have:
- those who are allergic to lactose and will break the fuck for the bar where to get the cappuccino.
- Cross allergies (deus lo vult!)
- Allergies due to global warming (huh?)
So, there are entire populations who cannot drink dairy products or eat cheese. Asians, for example.
But if you are white Europeans, I am sorry to warn you, these things are not very credible. Yes, it is possible that there is ONE person who is lactose intolerant, but next you have to meet him in the neighboring region. And in any case, the lactose disappears with the aging of the cheeses, so the Grana Padano has nothing to do with your allergy.
Cross allergies. The scassacazzo 2022/23 has cross allergies. But he doesn't get out of his head to go to Jerusalem, no. He simply decides that if he is allergic to travertine in the air, then he will also be allergic to melodrama in salmon. Why'? Because OBVIOUSLY there is the same protein.
And so, starting from the fact that his nose itches in spring, it can be deduced that he will also be allergic to the tablecloth in the restaurant and to the fish in the aquarium of Chinese restaurants. Because the Crusades are serious business.
Those who have pollen allergies remain the last, because with climate change the plants have anticipated flowering. Apart from the fact that at most this should shift the allergy over time, with climate change it has happened that Florence now has the climate of Caserta. But these problems were never noticed during the migratory phenomena, such as that the immigrants from Caserta in the "cold" Florence felt better.
Three fashion hypochondria I could notice a growth of "non-neurotypical" people, which means "I drank my brain as a child but I want to pretend that you have to put up with me because otherwise you are racist", ADHD, even if it holds up well depression, and bipolar disorder is starting to appear, especially among tiktok influencers.
Each of which will break our dick by describing to the nausea (and preferably at the table) the most eschatological aspects of their pathologies, focusing on diarrhea, but only after the first.
To all these people I would like to send a message:
You're just a Giuseppe Rossi like many others. You can't talk about anything because you don't have a hobby. You can't even talk about politics because you care about things like Palestine or the Rohinga people or the Trumbuttu nation that nobody else gives a shit about. You can't talk about anything because other than that you have no interests, you don't read other books, you don't play an instrument, you have nothing to talk about.
But if there's one thing I DON'T want to talk about, especially at the dinner table, it's the state of your gut, your fucking nervous system, the problems you have with your own ass and where to find it, your mental illnesses and because your nose is running. I don't give a shit, they don't make you interesting, and you're just the burglar who would have been vegan until yesterday, if only vegans weren't so marginalized that even the Russians don't want to rape them.
I hope I was clear, because honestly fashion was annoying enough, but hypochondria fashion is also pathetic.
You are cringe, your runny nose, your communist gut, your cool mental illness, and your gender that doesn't even exist in spoken language.
And before you get up there, remember one thing: I'm allergic to crackpots.
Which justifies what I said.