What If? (the covid and wuhan)
Joe Biden is not doing well. He did not have those brilliant victories he hoped for (despite the hammering of the friendly press) against Covid, he did not manage to reform the police who still kill people for the color of their skin, he put forward a proposal for a 15% Web Tax only for to be reminded that it was a French / European proposal from 10 years ago, and it has come out of time to ask for the liberalization of vaccine patents.
So now he borrows another Trump gimmick, "the Chinese virus". And he asks the CIA for a report on the fact that the virus originated in a Chinese laboratory, from which it "escaped".
In practice, according to the US this happened. There are the MCRIUPB, (Chinese Wicked Gathered In A Dark Place, DunkelOrtsChineseBösartigsVersammlung for the Germans), discussing:
- Hey, I have an idea: why don't we infect the world with a virus that puts a mask on Hillary Clinton's face?
- It seems brilliant to me. But if we send an agent to infect the US, they go back to patient zero and they'll accuse us of biological warfare!
- But the genius is here: we infect ourselves, first, and then we let the epidemic go around the world.
- And how do we know he's going to them?
- Because spannometrically we can conjecture without any evidence in favor that no one would ever close the borders (Trump is a convinced globalist, after all, and we are on excellent terms with him) before some Chinese tourists bring the virus to them.
- It seems brilliant to me. What could possibly go wrong? Come on, let's develop a virus and let a pandemic start in our house! Who wouldn't do it? Do we have a suitable virus?
- Sure! It is a fantastic virus because it mutates in a time which is about one twelfth of the time it takes us to vaccinate the Chinese population.
- And do we have a vaccine, just in case?
- Sure. It is 50% effective. As if we were going heads or tails. Insurance will go crazy.
- And who kills this virus?
- It mainly kills the old, average age eighty.
- What is the average age in this room?
- 79.9 years.
- It seems wise to me to bring this project to life. Really. I am thrilled with it. Where do we start from?
- Obviously, from one of the main industrial centers. The closure of our industries will be a cure-all.
- It seems obvious to me. Do it.
Of course, unless I want to accuse the Chinese of being a pile of idiots, this is not the most credible story my bullshit filter has ever heard.
There is another version, that of the virus "escaped" from a laboratory. I don't know what gave people the idea that a virus "escapes" from a laboratory, since there are no documented cases of viruses that "escaped" from a modern laboratory (I mean one who was aware of the existence of viruses) . But on the other hand:
- It is the country where Epstein kills himself in prison while under 24/7 surveillance, while both guards are in the toilet together (and they are not women) and the surveillance camera is broken. If that were a laboratory, the virus "Lady Gaga with all the dance troupe, dwarfs and dancers leased from Craxi" would also escape from there.
- It is the nation of Hollywood, where from the future they send a robot to kill Sarah Connor, and the real Sarah Connor is a German singer . So maybe he killed all the Sarah Connors of the USA, and then in the end the problem was all from the son of a German woman who sings Schlager music in Bavarian and thus destroys Skynet's AI. (notoriously, no AI can withstand this music more than eighty-six seconds)
But then, what would it mean that "a virus escapes from a laboratory"? That suddenly heats up and goes from -190 ° C to room temperature, pierces centimeter-thick glass, pierces the protection of some operator, magically finds the right environment to proliferate, and goes for a walk with the operator. Obviously, the fact that an operator in that laboratory falls ill, and then his entire family falls ill, goes unnoticed. After all, what government would ever supervise the specialists of a super-secret base that produces biological weapons? Certainly not the Chinese one. You know.
Interesting. It is easier for all the oxygen in the room you are in to come out of the window due to the thermal agitation. But after seeing the Netflix version of Chernobyl, the American is led to believe it. (if it weren't for the fact that literally EVERYTHING possible was done in Chernobyl for the disaster to occur, that is, in the sense that in the USSR everything possible was done: power stations were built keeping it hidden that they had a defect that caused the explosion of the reactor. Small stuff).
Anyway yes, apparently one of two things has to come out of the CIA report. And never mind if until yesterday they were classified as conspiracy theories: you make a phone call to FAcebook and ask to remove the seal on the theory. And so, by the decision of Facebook now the story of the runaway virus becomes true. Interesting.
At this point, we do better. Let's give the US something that reflects both Hollywood and their conspiracy mania. We write the CIA report for them. A credible one, as is the custom in Hollywood. And let's get it over with.
We are in Wuhan. In the background, Chinese people doing Chinese things: Cantonese rice, processors, genocides, spring rolls. Wide angle view on the roofs of a base. A super-handsome woman with amazing tits and a quasi-sentient ass dressed in an embarrassing latex suit and surprisingly uncomfortable heels stands on the roof of a Chinese super-secret research center. She has a basalt crease and a katana tied on her back (so she can't pull it out when she needs it, because she doesn't like to win easy; but no one has told her yet that NO people have ever held swords on their backs).
Using Katana and martial arts (which Chinese notoriously don't know: why should a Chinese know kung-fu wushu as much as one who was born in Connecticut?), The hottie gets rid of the Chinese sentries, taking care to show them the ass.
The woman enters the laboratory, and arrives at the boss's office. Which is empty. He opens a 1906 lockable safe using a stethoscope (but the head of a secret virus installation loves Swiss antiques) and as viewers wonder where the hell he kept the stethoscope in that fucking latex suit, he steals a vial.
On the vial it says “secret virus do not open the vial and keep in a cool place. Made in China". Then the hottie of the situation takes the phial and tries to escape.
Twist of the scene.
The Chinese, at a guess, have 2.45 * 10E05 bonazze equally hot. All in the army. And they also know kung-fu wushu (good man's war, or whatever) because they send them to study in Connecticut. Beware of chinese schoolgirls in connecticut. They are there to learn Kung Fu. All of them.
Chinese hotties are also embarrassingly skin-tight, and after a clash of flying boobs, unlikely military miniskirts, glittering swords and marble asses, a crack is heard.
"Crac".
(in fact).
It's the test tube. That it is not clear where the fuck the American has slipped it since she is wearing only a damn latex onesie, but the film only shows, in order:
- a heel (awkwardly high) to the right.
- in the center, a test tube that falls in slow motion and shatters on the ground.
- one (awkwardly high) heel to the left.
The mystery "where he had put the test tube" will remain unsolved, it seems, because in China you do not take YouPorn.
Seeing the test tube fall, the Chinese girls run away. The American hottie on the other hand … runs away, but the difference is that the camera indulges for sixteen minutes on the ass that runs towards a turret built in the shape of a ladder, made for the express purpose of climbing. Typical quality of Chinese turrets, that of helping people to climb to climb over. Very ancient tradition that dates back to the Zang empire of the Tumb period.
The hottie kills two guards, who had fired 66 + E41 rounds at her with a 32 barrel machine gun, without ever hitting her, and they have the hobby of slow motion. The two guards die by masturbating because of the details of the American nipple that shines through a tear in the latex jumpsuit. The Chinese have never seen a nipple because there are no mammals in China. Everybody knows. Show a nipple to a Chinese and he dies, like garlic to vampires.
The hottie steals a Chinese motorcycle (but an American brand) and since she was good at skating in high school, she uses the motorcycle as a helicopter, tractor, fighter-bomber, hot water bottle, tram, ox cart, combine harvester, bicycle, skates on ice, pellet forklift, cross-country skis and space shuttle, while killing random Chinese using the katana that he cannot extract from his back, and when he finally manages to use the bike as a motorcycle on a road that is a road, he has run out of gas . Chinese gasoline. Never trust. So he abandons the bike, which does NOT explode, demonstrating the inferiority of Chinese gasoline that does not blow up random things for no reason.
Now the hottie runs towards a wood, where she stops panting behind a tree (Chinese tree, that is 'Bambu'. But she is very thin and therefore she succeeds). While he is panting, it is noticeable that he is a mammal and is feeding the cubs. But not today. As the lights of the illuminators rake the treetops (as is known, all commandos hide in the treetops. They love owl nests, commandos.), She sews a wound with a Singer sewing machine, and asks help with a radio. That you don't know where the fuck (the radio) is hidden, because of the tight latex onesie and lalalala. And notoriously the Chinese do NOT intercept and do not spy on anything. Tell Huawei. Anyway, this girl takes out a battery-powered radio with quantum super-encrypted galactic range and calls for help. In the meantime he puts the magazine in the gun, with a gesture of that male that brings out his feminine gnocchita '. Where was the gun? It does not matter. This girl has more hidden pockets than HotKinkyJo. Go on.
She spends half an hour where the Chinese look for her in Casalecchio di Reno, because if there is a place that the Chinese guards don't know well it is China, while she kills narcoleptic characters in uniform with "martial arts techniques" su shoes manolo ”, and escapes from China thanks to the incredible Ninjitzu training received in his youth by ERIKOTTERO's grandfather when he emigrated to Connecticut.
The scene ends with the rugged hunks of the Navy Seals who, armed with unlikely phallic-looking rifles and amphibious tank-like amphibians, display their bibs as they carry her to safety by climbing a rope. She still has heels and the Katana as they pull it out of the water. Obviously. And pockets full of Chinese secrets. If only someone knew where the fuck the pockets are. But hunks have too square jaws to think, so they don't ask questions.
While going to report to Colonel Krautmannski (or some other badass name, because it is not that one can be "Colonel Esposito" if he leads super-secret operations of latex hotties), the American hottie coughs. Everyone thinks it's due to the bath she took before she was saved, but instead she got contaminated. Since the film must also be made for female audiences, then the hottie makes herself a gigantic Navy Seals sergeant to pass the time on the way back, and tattooed nine and a half weeks, sixpack, turgid tit against the light and panting, the virus passes. to the navy seals.
Everything else is Donald Trump
Done.
As usual, Hollywood explains it all.
Ah, right: it takes the soundtrack of the "CIA report":
Here we are.